Date Rape

Date rape has always been, and unfortunately will always be a very painful and sensitive subject to write about. I hope that i am able to be completely objective in my writing on the topic without appearing insensitive or disrespectful to all those out there who have at one time or the other fall victim to this despicable act of human selfishness. Rape in any form is tragic and horrible, but this tragedy becomes more horrifying when the victim knows and trusts her attacker.

Although, majority of the cases of rape involve women as the victim, but there have been some few cases where men have also fallen victim to rape, either by women or other men. Nevertheless, this article focuses mainly on women as victims of date rape.

Now, what is rape? You might ask.
Well, Rape has been defined as vaginal, Oral, and/or Anal penetration using force or the threat of force. It is an act of violence motivated by power and control.
Date or Aquaintance rape occurs between individuals who have agreed to engage each other socially. That is, between individuals that have agreed to go out with each other on a date. It could be someone you recently met or even someone you have being dating for some time. The sad truth is that in most of this cases the assailant does not even believe that what he has done constitutes as rape, even when he knows, he is confident that the woman will never implicate him. This is the reason why most instances of this incidents go unreported, especially in countries like Nigeria, Where woman are afraid that no one will believe them or that they might even be held responsible for the act. Honestly, we can not fault these women for thinking this way. We live in a country where false modesty and hopocrisy is the order of the day. Whenever we read the staggering satistics of rape cases in more developed countries, we tend to get all self-righteous, saying how these countries are corrupt and demonic. The sad truth is that we most likely have a lot more terrifying statistics without even realising it. The only difference being that in these countries, women are are lot more confortable reporting this kind of situation than the women in a country like Nigeria.

There are various factors that can contribute to the occurence of this kind of a scenerio. Women should be more careful about spending time alone with men. Especially in a secluded or densely popullated area. In the case of students, they should avoid visiting and spending time alone with boys that they dont really know all that well or worst, boys that they are just meeting for the first time, in their dorm or private hostels. In some cases, some girls would attend a party and then go off to a quiet and secluded place with a guy they just met. This only put you at risk.

One major factor that can cause date rape is MISCONCEPTION. Most times, men think that when a woman says No she is just playing hard to get and want them to put more effort or to play rough. Newsflash guyz, sometimes when a woman says No, she actually means No, and even if u are not exactly sure of what she meant, then try to clerify the matter or better yet just assume that she actually does mean No. Ladies too in this case should be very clear from the beginning what they expect from a guy and what that guy should expect from them in return. Some times girls just want to flirt harmlessly, this does not automatically mean that they are asking for sex.
Some guyz too also assume that once they take a girl out on a date and pay the bills that they are also automatically paying for sex and should they be refused when they want to collect then it is only their right to collect by force. My advice to ladies here is be careful how you collect gifts from men, either in cash or in kind. When you go out on dates, offer to pay the bill. This in its own way asserts you indepence and lets him know that you most certainly can pay your own way.

The most common factor that influences rape, especially in this part of the world is the fact that. some guyz feel that when a lady dresses provocatively she is asking to be raped. No one, i repeat NO ONE ever asks to be raped. This has always been a controversial topic in this country. My take is this, if a lady dresses too provocatively for you to handle why not look away. You say she is committing a sin, and yet you feel that the best way to correct her is to committ a sin too. But then ofcourse they dont see it as a sin. Some even call it "correctional rape" like seriously? How the human mind will always find reasons to justify her trecherous thoughts.

Alcohols and drugs are also very significant in date rape. Statistics show that about 75% of date rate involve alcohol and/or other drugs. When a person is under the influence of any of this substance, she allows herself to exist in a vulnerable state. There is poor judgment and miscommunication most of the time. In the guys, alcohol consumption may lead to increased agressiveness and a decrease in sensitivity to others.

Ladies, know this, not all date rapes can be prevented. Some men plan the majority well in advance. Men like these usually have a history of forcing women to have sexual relations.

TIPS FOR LADIES.

1. Women should examine their needs and wants from a relationship and know their sexuall limits. These limits should communicated properly.

2. They should never allow themselves to become intoxicated either with alcohol or any other date rape drug.
3. Avoid mixed messages. Say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no.
4. If you feel like a gut is pressuring you for sex, be direct and firm when you reject the offer. this is so not the time to be polite.

5. Ladies trust your instinct, if you dont feel comfortable anymore then get out of the situation.

6. If things start to get out of hand, make yourself heared and leave.

7. Lastly, ladies, stay away from guys WHO are so obviously rude, obscene and blatanly disrespectful to womenfolk.

If you are a victim of date rape, please do not keep it inside of you. Talk to someone, preferably a proffessional or someone who will give you comfort qnd encouragement. Always remain safe ladies.

Brought to you by Tecimania...

THE GIFT.. short story

Once upon a time..
There was girl, her name was Mirabel. Most people just call her Mable, this was because when she was little, whenever she was asked to say her name, she would always say Mable, cos you see,Mirabel was kind of a mouthful for her to pronounce.
Mirabel was one of the most beautiful girl you could ever lay eyes on. She had very long, straight, shiny black her. It was so shiny you could almost see your reflection looking at it. She had the most captivating and piercing gray eyes on anyone, eyes that appear to see through your body and into your soul. The effecct of those gray eyes were so pronounced that they were the first thing you notice when you look at her. The second thing is
almost as shocking as those gray eyes. Mirabel was blind.
You see, for all the beauty of those eyes, they had never been able to see the stars, or the ocean, or the trees. She lived in darkness. Mirabel had been living in darkness all her life, it was almost all she knew, Almost.
I say almost because even in all that darkness there was a little bit of sunshine. His name was Harry. Harry was the best thing to ever happen to Mirabel. He loved her so much, he could do anything for her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. One day, her asked Mirabel to marry him, but she was a little bit reluctant because of her condition.
She said to him.. "Harry ... oh sweet Harry... If only i could just see you, if only i could just see the world, i would marry you"
So, the next day, Mirabel found out that a pair of perfectly healthy eyes had been donated to her from an anonymous donor. She was so happy, she called Harry immediately to tell him the wonderful news. Harry was ecstatic. He was so happy because
her dream was finally goin to come true which meant ofcourse that his dream was finally going to
come true.
Mirabel, that same day, went to the hospital to have the procedure done. It was a successful one. The doctors told her that she would be able to see
after a few weeks of recovery, when the bandages come off. Finally, it was D-day. The day for her to take off her bandages. As the bandages were peeled off, the first thing she saw was a very angelic face. She didnt have anything to compare it with because she had never seen anything else in her entire life, but she had always imagined what an angel would look like, and this face was what she would have picked for an angel. She knew right away that this was Harry. This was her sunshine in the dark. The bandages were pulled off completely and she could now see him fully, and he was magnificent..but...????
Harry was so happy that Mirabel could now see, that he got down on one knee in front of her and
asked her right there to marry him. But to his suprise, she said no. You see harry was indeed
magnificent but... he was also blind. Mirabel thought that now that she could see, she wanted to
see the world in all its splendour. She didnt want to be married to a blind person. So she told the one person that had loved her all through her darkness that she could not spend the rest of her
life loving him through HIS darkness. Harry was devastated. He was so heartbroken he could barely breath. It was like his chest had been cut open and someone was pouring hot sauce into
the wound.. In tears, he got up from his kneeling position, and turned to find his way out. But
before leaving, without turning back to face her, he said "TAKE CARE OF MY EYES FOR ME"... and then he left forever.. Leaving Mirabel in shook of the gravity of his Gift.
*The End*

What do you think of the story?

NIGERIA MUSIC VIDEO AWARDS 2013 FULL LIST NOMINEES

NIGERIA MUSIC VIDEO AWARDS (NMVA 2013) NOMINEES

Video of the Year
1. Flavour – Ada Ada
2. Olamide – Duro Soke
3. Sound Sultan – Natural Something
4. D’Banj – Don’t Tell Me Nonsense
5. Chidima – Emi Ni Baller

Best Afro Hip Hop Video
1. Ill Bliss – I Am Sorry
2. Splash – Church Agbasa
3. Olamide – Durosoke
4. MI – Chairman
5. Phyno – Man of the Year

Best Hip Hop Video
1. Eedris Abdulkareem – I Go Whooz You
2. Pryse – Eleto
3. Boogey – Sanctum
4. Ice Prince – VIP
5. Yung6ix – First Class

Best Afro Pop Video
1. D’banj – Don’t Tell Me Nonsense
2. Sound Sultan – Natural Something
3. Goldie – Miliki
4. 2face – Blood on the dance floor
5. Alabai – Ogbanje

Best Dance Hall/Reggae Video
1. Davido – All of you
2. Waje – I wish
3. Patoranking – Alubarika
4. Orezi – Rihana
5. Vector – Follow Me

Best Pop Extra Video
1. Chidima – Emi Ni Baller
2. Kcee – Limpopo
3. Solidstar – Skibo
4. Davido – Gobe
5. Harrysong – Im In Love (Remix)

Best Gospel Video
1. Ada – Bobo Me
2. Henrisoul – Blow My Mind
3. Amaray – Oke Mgbidi
4. Kefee – Celebrate
5. Solomon Lange – Yabo

Best R ‘n’ B Video
1. Jennifer – Ifunanya
2. Capital FEMI – Capital F.E.M.I
3. Pelli – The One
4. Nosa – Always Pray for You
5. Banky W – Yes/No

Best High Life Video
1. Flavour – Ada Ada
2. i-Mike – Adure
3. Wizboy – Halima
4. Dr. Victor Olaiya ft 2face – Baby Mi Da
5. Iyanya – Jombolo

Best Afro Beat Video
1. Starboy – Caro
2. Black Magic – Confam
3. Henry Knight – Shako
4. Burna Boy – Run My Race
5. MGabriel – Eruku Lau Lau

Best Contemporary Afro Music Video
1. Xproject – Azuka
2. Dammy Krane – Xteristics
3. Sheyman – Paper
4. Skales – Komole
5. Jaywon – Catch Me If You Can

Most popular Nigerian Music Video in Europe
1. Dizzy – Jekin Jekin
2. Tipsy – Tin Geh Geh
3. Moe Logo – Pangolo
4. Dola Billz – No Gocking
5. Spice Vision – Today na Today

Best Indigenous Concept
1. Tillaman – Ori Owo
2. MGabriel – Eruku Lau Lau
3. Flavour – Ada Ada
4. Shola Alyson – Ife

Best use of animation
1. DJ Sose – Obulu
2. Ketchy Dons – Closer n Closer
3. T-Sleek – Ma Wo mi

Best use of costumes
1. Flavour – Ada Ada
2. Dipp – Balance for Me
3. D’Prince – Goody Bag
4. Tiwa Savage – Without My Heart
5. May D – So Many Things

Best use of Choreography
1. Iyanya – Jombolo
2. Timaya – Ekoloma Demba
3. TIV – What’s The Matter
4. Banky W – Yes/No
5. D’banj – Don’t Tell Me Nonsense

Best Producer
1. EME Records
2. Marvin Records
3. Chocolate City
4. Kennis Music

Best Director
1. Clarence Peters
2. Squareball
3. Sesan
4. Mattmax

Most Promising Director
1. Unlimited LA
2. Matmax
3. Tyson
4. Catalyst
5. Paul Gambit

Best Editor
1. Mattmax for Don’t tell me Nonesense by D’banj
2. Unlimited LA for Confam by Black Magic
3. Sesan for Sexy Mama by Inyanya
4. Clarence Peters for Durosoke by Olamide

Best Cinematography
1. Ajeh for Alubarika by Patoranking
2. Squareball for Church Agbasa by Splash
3. Matmax for Don’t Tell Me Nonsense by D’banj
4. Clarence Peters for Durosoke by Olamide
5. Mr. Moe Musa for So many thinz by May D

Best Use of Visual Effects
1. Inyanya – Sexy Mama
2. Sound Sultan – Natural Something
3. Ice Prince – VIP
4. Morell – Oxygen
5. Danas – My Melody

Best Video By A New Act
1. Sean Tizzle – Shole
2. Mystro – This Kain Love
3. Charas – Gbege
4. Sym19 – Fine Baby Girl
5. Outrageous – Am In The Mood

Best Soft Rock/Alternative Video
1. Black Magic – Repete
2. Dazzle Ra Amen – Chinekem
3. Ese Peters – Omote
4. Shola Allyson – Ife
5. Timi Dakolo – Great Nation

Best Music Video by a Minor
1. Choco Girl – Ayo
2. G Girl – Young Shall Grow
3. Mya K – My DJ
4. Ozzybosco – Tinini
5. Whitney Wonder – Africa Unite

There you have them peeps. Who are your favourites in all the different categories? Who do you think has the best chance of winning his/her category? What are those songz you think shuld have been included that are not on the list? And also dont forget to comment on the song and/or the artiste that has had the the most impact in your life this year.

By Tessy.

Telekinetic Coffee Shop Surprise

The SHOCKING Secret behind telekinesis REVEALED... take a look

2013 Nobel Prize for Chemistry

The Nobel Prize in chemistry has gone to three scientists who "took the chemical experiment into cyberspace".
Michael Levitt, a British and US citizen of Stanford University, US Austrian Martin Karplus of Strasbourg University, and US-Israeli Arieh Warshel of the University of Southern California share the prize.
The trio devised computer simulations to understand chemical processes. In doing so they laid the foundations for new kinds of pharmaceuticals.
"The Nobel Laureates in Chemistry 2013 have made it possible to map the mysterious ways of chemistry by using computers," said the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences. "Today the computer is just as important a tool for chemists as the test tube. "Detailed knowledge of chemical
processes makes it possible to optimise catalysts, drugs and solar cells.
"Warshel told a news conference in Stockholm by telephone that he was "extremely happy" to be woken in the middle of the night in Los Angeles to find out he had won the prize.

By Tessy.

FREE-FALLING

 

They say falling inlove is a relex. Like being afraid. I never used to be afraid. I was a preety hardcore kid, i was never too scared to look under my bed cos i knew there were no monsters there. I was never scared of falling asleep cos i was afraid there were little green creatures hiding in the closet waiting to steal me away. I was never scared of the dark, certainly not of the things dat were said to lurk in the dark. I was never afraid of bullies in school or at d play ground cos i was confident in my abillity to stand up to someone three tyms my size and not lose. So yea, growing up, i was a badass girl and i never used to be afraid.
Then i started started to grow older, and to my greatest regret i discorvered that no one is above fear. At one point or the other in our lives we have all been afraid of something. We are afraid of loving too much, we are afraid of having our heart broken, we are afraid of failure, we are afraid of disappointment. Its sad how much of our lives we spend stuck in a state of being afraid. When i discorvered my fear it took me by surprise. "No... not me" i said. i culdnt belive it, there had to be a mistake somwhere. I mean come on, i was badass, i was hardcore, In my mind i culdnt be afraid of anything. This was an impossibility that became possible and i could not fathom how it came to be. Looking back now i realise that my not being able to accept my fear was in its own way a form of being afraid. You see, even at that point i was afraid of being afraid and if i hard been thinking properly i would have seen that even at that point i was proving the fact that no one is beyond fear.
Anyway, the one major fear that i discorvered i have is "committing to something that i have absolutely no control over". Giving myself completely over to something that was beyond my power. Something with a mind of its own and ultimately to someone else. You see, for someone who is always in control, for someone who is always in charge, having to be at the mercy of someting or someone that you have absolutely no power over can be the most terrifying thing that could befall him or her. You know, come to think of it, this is why i can not swim. Swimming requires you to let go and allow the water to take control. This is something that is hard for me to do. So instead i choose wat i can control and dats not knowing how to swim instead of having to let go. But falling inlove they say, is a reflex. it is mans greatest downfall and his greatest upliftment. You dont know the exact moment when it happens. it just.. it tks u by surprise. i mean one minute you are cruising and by the time you can say jack sparrow you are free falling and there s notin to break your fall, so you hope and if you have faith you pray that there s someone at the other side to catch you. This for me is the scariest shit ever. I mean, you have to completely put your faith in someone else and hope that they dont disappoint you. I dont trust people easily, so this is hard for me. I prefer to depend on myself because i know that i'll give it everything i have. But depending on someone else.. hmmm lets just say that i have been burnt and i dont wanna get burnt again.

But we cant help it now, can we? falling inlove is indeed a reflex. My reflex has kicked in once again, and once more i find myself freefalling and am praying to God... am praying so hard that this time there s someone at the other end to catch me and hold on cos i really dont wanna break again.
What are you afraid of? Lets hear them.
 

By Tessy